Survival Kit 2

Survival Guide Middle Earth.

Yes MoBros we have moved into the middle age of Movember now - somewhere between Mordor and Hogwarts. We salute you for joining the Moalition of the Enlightened ad progressing this far!!

You are now entering a phase akin to that of coming of age, your mo has uttered its first words it may have started to steal some of your most certainly it is cheekily siphoning off some beer froth. With this coming of age comes some annoying teenage teething problems - it will challenge your authority, it will cause you stress and anger but being human and living by the Mobro code of honour, integriy and after action satisfaction you will still naturally love your Mo as if the sun shone from its bristles. We are here to help keep you and your Mo bonded like Asterix and Obelix, Bakkies and Victor and Selebi and Agliotti. 

By now your tache stash (your brownie points war chest) should be well stocked after your picnic serenaded by Lionel Richie and Richard Marx - quality moments are the making of Momentous Movember for you MoBros and your MoSistas, anyway because you have built up your tache stash reserves we can now focus on you and your personal journey with your teenager over the next week or so.

With that in mind probably the biggest grievance your Mo is going to be bugging you with at this point is the ubiquitous “itch”. The itch is a major tester of one's resolve and is akin to one of the twelve labours Hercules undertook for the benefit of mankind. The itch is not easily overcome but mental fortitude (and some of Murray's tips) combined with the knowledge that your suffering will be generating cash for charity will result in the grip of the ‘itch’ evaporating into the space between Britney Spears' ears. 

Another major concern for some may be that you Mo has decided to blossom at random and is a little patchy. Our advice here is to turn this to your advantage with your MoSista - Ask her help you cover the gaps with her mascara. This way not only have you closed the gaps but you have manufactured some more quality time to bank in the tache stash.

For others it may just be that your Mo is a bit shy and not quite ready to come out into the open just yet. For those of you to whom this applies you will have to strike a delicate balance between force and encouragement.  Hang in there Mobros your Mo is likely to be a late bloomer like - if all else fails you can always make a trip to the tattoo parlour

"Hi there Legends of Movember!

Now that you have all lasted the first couple of weeks you should all be showing like you're in your third trimester. To have nurtured your beloved this far is an achievement in itself which has certainly earned you some envious stares from the MoSistas. To help out with the 'itch' and a shy Mo here are a few tips;

The Itch:

To kill the Itch you can;

1. Spray on Stingose in the morning. This will nullify the itch but may result in discolouration of the Mo and make it a target zone for bees if you work outdoors.

2. Massage a marble sized ball of Camphor cream or Zambuk onto you Mo each morning for 5 minutes. Not only will it ease the itch but it will have you breathing like a prize boxer.

3. Rub Deep Heat between your toes every half hour. This won't cure the itch but it will distract your brain to focus on other irritations.

The Shy Mo:

To bring your Mo out of hiding you can do any of the following

1. Encourage its growth with a bit of Bob Martin or Rogain. The side effects are that you ear nose and back hair will aslo start to mulitiply.  

 2. You can look at employing a falsie in certain circumstances. Whilst this might work if you are caught in the rain or if you drink beer from a draft glass you might be embarrassed if your glue dissolves unexpectedly. It is probably better to go for the full implant. Just ensure that you take the sample hair from the right place on your body or else you may a Mo with a perm.

 

3. If you don't mind spending some cash there is a new gene therapy out. It was developed by the lebanese. The therapy has singled out the Mo-gene in those upper lip broomstick specimens from Northern Russia to Chile and some neanerthal remains found in the ice caps

Lastly MoBros- If asked whyyou are growing your Mo you can always use my banker which is to say; "Its all part of my strategy to be taken less seriously"

With that Legends I will bid adieu and look forwrd to chatting again in the next weeks when your Mos enter the adult phase"

 

Murray Moustache